Lying

figure this outim a liar
i lie about everything
assumptions are all lies..even if some of them may be found to be true - assumptions, are all lieslying is painfuland therefore, im in love with pain because i continue to lie to myselfto heal, in any way, forgiveness is needed...but first i have to see the lies im telling myself.
assuming anyone is thinking of me, at any time of the day - a lie.assuming, even with a justification is a lie - "well i assumed you were going to get a drink because you grabbed a glass" - well that's not my life to be assuming.
that is lying, and painful to myself and others it IS scrutiny.
lying leads to scrutinizing and forcing lies onto others.\for the love of pain, i assume lies.how does lying to myself serve me in any way? it doesn't, it causes only pain and suffering- illusions./the pain of every lie, is pumped into my body.i think it, and believe it, i pumped it and stored it.i think it and recognize it as a poision, for what a lie is, then it gets trashed, and there's room for the truth.
lying is a sickness all in itself.liars dramatize and exagerate.liars deny lying, as a form of "protection" (really just protection from being seen as their real self)
lying is compulsive and pathological when you have beleived the lies all your life
everything said, thought, and done is pretty well a lie because the attention was not in the right place, nor was the intention.
wish I could add more..
Lying, another way...I want to heal..i want to heal but then I lie, I lie that i dont feel the anger, only to myself, because everyone can see it.
so because, i've learned some therapy through life experiences, I realize "it's wrong to hate, it's wrong to be angry". So when times that I am visciously angry come around, i lie to myself. I know it's doesn't get me anywhere to be angry, so I stuff it down, I dont express it, I lie to myself and say "it's not my anger it's the other guys anger, he's to blame" because I dont have anger i have dealt with it by ignoring it and denying it, I know it's wrong to have anger so i dont even see it as my anger.
more to come...---Color the world with peace
completely brainwashing myself.

Introduction:

Enter the mind, you will find - I am a lie.
You, Me, human, materially, intellectually, deceptively
corrupting and disrupting energy, in-love with pain
hate continues to drain,
listen - just listen and no pretending
no "make beleive"
be real, be easy, just let it be
jibber that, jabber this, tit for tat,
intense is the bitter fist burning inside
producing outer failure and still deny

BLAM

open wide, see with your eye
where have you been,
hibernating,
so lie -- here, there, everywhere, nowhere, up there, in there
now cant you believe!?
nothing but a lie, no one can beleive.
oh, but anger does fill in-rage -
"IF YOU DONT BELEIVE, I CANT BE SAVED!"
bind your hands to the chair,
close your eyes, feel the despair
i created this pain
i've hid so long, NOW have no fear
the truth has always been
the truth will never cease.

Welcome to reality.